Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
