he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize