My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize