yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He has the fingertips of a God
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