you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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