I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
