used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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