I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm really busy with my period
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
