there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
