Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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