i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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