Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Randomize