I just gift wrapped bread.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
