Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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