Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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