so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
