you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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