this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
