I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
