i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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