And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
