winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
