did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
