She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
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