Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize