Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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