Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
