Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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