Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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