i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
