Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Let's paint friendship bongs
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
