at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
