so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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