By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
