Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize