So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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