After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
