what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
