i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
