my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Even my vagina gasped.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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