Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
