Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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