I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
