I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
