I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
