you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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