Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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