i don't like sucking hair
I've blown a few things in my day
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
