I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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