thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
What a dumb baby whore.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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