YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
