Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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