she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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