Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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